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    shad·ow /ˈSHadō/ noun, a part of me On my morning run, I race my shadow. From streetlight to streetlight, we speed under patches of orange glow that illuminate The Strand, a narrow strip of road paralleling the Pacific.  As I accelerate, my shadow appears in my peripheral. My dark stretched-out-self moves from slightly behind me to directly off…

    Billy Ray

    December 4, 2022
    Uncategorized
    billysbrain, blog, creative writing, healing, life, reflection, running, Shadow
  • Healing the Narcissistic “It”

    After an Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) session, my therapist asks, “What is coming up?” A painful memory has arisen, but I am hesitant to share it; the image doesn’t make sense. “You’re thinking about it. Please, share what you are thinking.” I continue withholding, believing the idea in my mind’s eye is silly.…

    Billy Ray

    September 30, 2022
    Uncategorized
    Addiction, billysbrain, blog, Consciousness, creative nonfiction, creative writing, David Bohm, emotions, family, healing, Johann Hari, Mastersprogram, narcissist, psychology, reflection, Social Intelligence
  • The Shape of Consciousness

    This past weekend, I visited Ocean Springs, Mississippi. My presence in the Gulf Coast was to reunite with my siblings. Until this weekend, the five of us had never been together. From this perspective, our reunion was more of a union, a coming together for the first time. Our unique circumstances easily fall under the…

    Billy Ray

    September 9, 2022
    Uncategorized
  • Into Me, I Run

    “The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep! You must ask for what you really want. Don’t go back to sleep!” People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds touch. The door is round and open. Don’t go back to sleep!” ~Rumi “Try to…

    Billy Ray

    June 15, 2022
    Uncategorized
    Art, billysbrain, blog, creative nonfiction, creative writing, family, healing, life, Poetry
  • $55 T-Shirt

    I can’t pay $55 for a t-shirt. I just can’t. I don’t understand why a t-shirt costs $55. I remember t-shirts costing $20 or less. I don’t know what happened, what cruel joke is being inflicted on my bank account. Are time and inflation organic soul mates caught in a cosmic relationship of hopeless devotion…

    Billy Ray

    April 1, 2022
    Uncategorized
    1990s, billysbrain, blog, creative nonfiction, creative writing, life, reflection, sad, transition
  • VEGAN CROISSANT

    I sit alone, over-chewing a vegan croissant. The bland sterility of the rubbery pastry underwhelms my taste buds, making simple mastication a challenging task. I feel like I deserve applause for my effort. But no ovation is given. The café’s other attendees sit enthusiastically enjoying their soy sausage and oat milk lattes, each other. It’d…

    Billy Ray

    February 23, 2022
    Uncategorized
    blog, creative nonfiction, creative writing, family, grief, Mama

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